At different times in our lives, we get to experience the NEW. Either We visit or live in new places, get to meet new sets of people, join new groups or clubs. So, being a ‘newbie’ usually leaves us feeling awkward or strange sometimes but in no time, that feeling quickly fizzles off because as humans, we were created to adapt and adjust to NEW situations.
My mission is to teach us especially new members how to settle down and mix up with other group members, how to be involved and active.
Being a newcomer in a group is not a new thing. It is understandable that when we first join a group, the initial attitude most people put up include quietness, laying low, observing how things are done and being reserved. But in WOW, we don’t expect this to linger for too long.
One of the biggest factors that will determine if one’s membership in the group will be retained or short-lived is activeness or inactiveness (passiveness).
Here are some important things to note:
- WOW has zero tolerance for passiveness.
- WOW is a unique and amazing group. It is receptive, lively and enjoyable. Every member is free to express herself and we welcome people warmly, make you feel special and as comfortable as possible. These are achievable because of people’s activeness. So, be/remain active.
- As new members, we expect that within a week of joining WOW, you should at least have been able to drop ‘hello’, ‘hi’, ‘good morning/afternoon/evening’ on the group.
- Within one month of being a member of WOW, you should have started contributing to matters arising which can come in the form of gists, stories and random discussions.
- After one month, we expect you to have been very free and fully participatory in all WOW activities.
HOW TO MIX UP
- Greet: ‘Good Morning’, ‘Good Day’, ‘Happy New Month’ is a good way to greet on the group. Celebrate people on their birthdays, anniversaries or any other special occasion.
- Attend Programs: Our lecturer addressed us on the various programs we have in WOW last week. We have Wedding Anniversary Cool Seat, Face of Wow, Lectures and Prayer meetings. If you missed a lecture, try to read up, appreciate the lecturer and add your voice/contributions to the topic if you have any. By so doing, you are mixing up. In addition, if you can’t read up on the lecture group, you can as well check www.worthyqueens-com.us.stackstaging.com for lecture compilations. By this you are abreast with the lectures and can bring up a discussion from there to the group for discussion.
- Ask Questions: Ask questions on issues relating to Marriage, Pregnancy, Womanhood, Child bearing etc. Questions that can help us learn how to be better helpmeets are welcome. Questions on things bothering your mind. When you bring forth questions, people will surely learn and of course, through such discussions, we get to interact more and thereby mix up.
- Submit Relevant Discussions: Bring issues that we can trash together if you have any (Almost similar to the previous point). Participate in activities, challenges and assignments such as Movie, Book or Message review; Devotional reading, Spouse Appreciation Day etc.
- Show Sincere Concern and Care for Others: Ask after others including Admin and coordinators if you noticed it’s been a while someone was active. You could do so by tagging the person on the group, reaching out to them via direct WhatsApp messages, text messages or calls. So many of us have become close because of this. Make friends with other people.
No matter your personality, you should be able to do at least four (4) of the above listed points because these are ways to show commitment to the group.
Things existing members should note before bringing people to WOW:
- Be sure they are interested in WOW.
- Be sure they are social media people and will be active.
- Tell them WOW is an active group and inform them of the repercussion of being passive which is removal.
- It is your duty to help your recruit adapt to WOW system for the first two weeks at least, by being active yourself.
In addition, if people don’t warm up to you right away, don’t feel bad about it nor be discouraged. We all have people of different personalities (introverts and extroverts, introverted extroverts) on the group. Besides, our moods can ‘swing’ sometimes. So, it is normal for people not to be ‘too free’ with you at first encounter but with time, it gets better.
In conclusion
You can give what you want to experience on the group. For example: if you want people to celebrate you on your own day, celebrate with them too, if you want people to troop out during your FOW or WACS session, show up during other people’s sessions too. Like it was said last week, ‘your activeness is directly proportional to the sweetness of your session’. Although, I trust my WOW sisters, they will still show up for you but do not take it for granted, please be available for others too.
May God help us all. Amen.
Questions and Answers
Question 1: If I’m new and I greeted but I’m being ignored, then I felt awkward and withdraw, what’s your advice for me?
Answer
If you are new and you greet and you feel ignored, I want you to know that it was never intentional. Firstly, People might not be online when you greeted. Secondly, some people usually skip accumulated messages and may not see your message. There is no how over 50 members will all intentionally ignore you. So, greet again, you will get response.
For instance, when I start feeling nobody ask after me, that’s when I tag people on the group to greet them the most, both new and old member. So please don’t withdraw, and if you have withdrawn yourself, come out of your shell and mingle. If you feel like you are being consistently ignored (which might be a misconception), then, talk to the Admin about it.
Contribution 1
I was able to mix up well because I had seen the ‘green light’. Green light here refers to people listening and contributing to your thoughts. It is actually very easy to be dismayed, if you are ignored.
There’s nothing as painful as being ignored in a group of many people. So, it was the green light for me. I started flowing better with those who are always ready to shine ‘the green light’.
This asking after people, maybe we should be doing it turn by turn like weekly. If not, some bad habit will not just depart from somebody.
Contribution 2
I just like the contribution to discussion part. When I joined, I discovered they were relatable, so I flowed. In WOW, you have to be active and contribute your own quota as you learn from others.
Contribution 3
If you want friends, be friendly. If you are always busy during people’s celebrations, rain will fall on your own day and give people the excuse not to be there.
We need to see WOW as family. Do we fight in our families? Yes, but do we ignore them and change family members? No, we stick and stay together. And if you feel they don’t respond to your greetings, stop greeting. It might sound somehow but most times, responding to greetings is boring. Drop talk, even if it’s about your lost toothbrush and toothpaste.
Contribution 4
I usually don’t talk on groups but the first gist I contributed on was Sex related. WOW members can talk Sex. The talk was about Sex toys that day. That was the link I needed to connect and mix up.
Topic: Settling down and mixing up in WOW
Lecturer’s name: Blessings Adejumo
Date: 2nd February, 2022.