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It’s a great honor to be teaching us on Understanding Male and Female Sexual Makeup. As a way of boosting our knowledge and empowering our sexual ministry, I’ll make learning very simple for us.
We will be looking at the topic under 4 sub-headings:
- General Overview of the Male and Female Sexual Makeup.
- The Similarities of the Male and Female Sexual Makeup.
- The Differences between the Male and Female Sexual Makeup.
- Reaching an equilibrium.
General Overview of the Male and Female Sexual Makeup
Male Sexual Makeup
It is generally believed that men think more about sex, but this is not entirely proven. Men are aroused by what they see. So, if they weren’t thinking about sex, seeing reminds them of sex and get them aroused. It is important to note that men are not wide thinkers but deep thinkers therefore stress, being broke, anger and so on do not affect men’s sexual libido.
The moment they are sexually aroused, they think only about the sex, how to explore it and get satisfied. Men’s sexuality is also more responsive to drugs.
Female Sexual Makeup
It will amaze you to know that women think more about sex than men, but don’t often bring their thoughts to actions. Women are full of fantasy and naturally want to spice everything up including sex, they may take days planning and imagining a new sex style they wish to explore but will not explore for a long time because unlike men, women are aroused by what they hear.
Women’s sexual excitement start from what they hear. From the point their spouses call them sweet names or say sweet words to them; their brains, bodies and hormones begin to respond. That’s why if you say bad thing to a woman in the morning, she won’t be sexually aroused at night until you right the wrong.
Also, women are wide thinkers and don’t isolate thoughts. They are conscious of everything around them which may include stress, anger, lack, the children, a sick family member etc. and these might affect their sexual performance. They are emotionally attached to sex.
The Similarities of the Male and Female Sexual Makeup
Longing fuels the sexual desire of both male and female. That is, we both miss sex and wants to explore after a break. After a long time of waiting, both male and female look forward to having sex and enjoying it.
We both undergo the same phases of sex (Excitement, Pleasure, Orgasm and Resolution) although with different duration.
For example, both male and female experience the excitement phase of sex which is the foreplay period. There is a gush of blood to the genitals (Vagina and Penis) which lead to emotional excitement and readiness for sex. Both male and female love to explore sex and be satisfied.
Cultural, religious beliefs and personality affect both male and female sexual makeup. It’s a known fact that our personalities are different and some people don’t feel sexual excitements and don’t have sexual fantasies, both male and female.
Also, some religious beliefs affect our sexual fantasies. Some believe it’s a sin to have some style of sex or sex outside the bedroom is a sin while some culture believe that women should not be expressive about their sexual desires and fantasies.
However, these factors affect women more than men because men generally have a higher libido in comparison to women. Nevertheless, we still want to be sexually satisfied, even with the different hindrances to sexual exploitation. Both male and female have varying levels of libido, some women have higher libido than men and vice versa.
The Differences between the Male and Female Sexual Makeup
This point will help us to understand how to manage the differences in our sexuality and that of our spouses.
Men are less romantic than women. The excitement phase for men is shorter than that of the women. Men usually don’t have the patience to wait for the woman to measure up, they want to get to the ‘promised land’ as soon as possible.
Men have higher sex drive than women. Men, like I said earlier, are aroused by what they see, so they get aroused easily compared to women that loves to hear lovely words and prepare emotionally before getting aroused.
Men takes shorter time than women to reach orgasm. The eyes spark sexual desires in men while the ears and emotions spark sexual desires in women.
Reaching an equilibrium
How to balance your sexuality as a woman:
- Learn to express your sexual fantasies. Talk to your spouse about how you want to have sex, when you get most sexually aroused, the styles you love most and your sexual imaginations.
- Talk to your partners about moments of sexual fulfillments.
- Be expressive with your dressings around your home; love your body and flaunt it.
- Be intentional about your sexuality by making up your mind to enjoy and explore sex.
- Verbalize your sexual fears and talk it over with your husband. You need to always talk about what hold you back from exploring your sexual desires, how you’d love to be handled sexually and how much you can take per time.
- Read about Sex. Develop your sexuality by reading wide about sex initiation, sex styles, and so on. Read as much as you need to, till you are satisfied with your sexuality.
- Ask your husband how he want to be satisfied sexually. Ask about his sexual preferences, favorite positions, what turns him on the more and so on.
Questions and Answers
Question: Can you please expatiate on how drugs affect men’s libido?
Answer
Drugs helps to boost men’s libido more than it does for women. There are a lot of sex boosters for men that helps to enhance their sexual performance.
Topic: Understanding Male and Female Sexual Makeup
Lecturer: Oluwapelumi Opeyemi-Peters
Date: Wednesday 27th October,2021.