I welcome you to today’s post. We will all be looking at ‘The Supportive Helpmeet’
So, when a husband says ‘my wife is supportive’, what does he mean? He means the wife is willingly giving her husband her shoulders to lean on. She doesn’t allow the husband wander alone in darkness because she understands the principle of two being better than one; which ultimately helps them reap bountiful rewards for their little labors.
Now let’s ask ourselves if we fit into this. If not, the Holy Spirit will teach us on how to be the supportive helpmeets to our spouses. Amen.
Some wives don’t see any need to support, they say ‘After all, he has been doing fine before he met me’ but for us as Women of Worth, we must know better.
Let’s look at the reasons we should support our husbands:
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It Is God’s Mandate
If Adam could do well alone, Eve wouldn’t be needed. God looked and saw that this man needed a support. I have asked myself during the week why he wasn’t given another man like himself. He specifically created someone to fit into that, we’re that special someone. Tell yourself, ‘I am that special someone for Mr. (mention your husband’s name)’
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It Keeps the Enemy Away
See, Eve made the mistake of her life by not being totally supportive to her husband. When the innocent man was going around the garden, couldn’t she have followed or be watching out for him? Being on her own opened cracks that made the old wicked serpent to creep in. I pray that Satan will not have allowance in our homes in Jesus name. Amen
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It Makes the Love between Us Wax Stronger
When our spouses see our efforts, loves and supports, believe me they are more endeared to us. When they do not need to beg for our prayers, money, love, lovemaking and all before we give them, they will love us more everyday and won’t trade us for any side chic.
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It Helps To Sow Good Seeds In Our Children
Our children see us and will ultimately emulate our lifestyles. You all will agree with me that children being raised in a home of love naturally show genuine love to others effortlessly. They don’t need to be taught because you have taught them in your deeds and it will have inerasable impact on them.
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You Stand to Gain Everything
A man, even though unfaithful never forgets the woman who stood by him, supported him especially in his days of little beginnings and did all to make their marriage work. Eventually, as a wise woman who built her home, she will eat sweet rewards.
We might be asking, ‘how do we support our husbands?’ Sometimes, some of our men can be unbelievable. You can show them support but they can throw it at your face like it’s nothing. But we don’t have a choice than to be supportive because it’s a mandate by God.
Let’s quickly look at few practical ways to show our support:
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Support Him Spiritually
We must pray for our men. Last week, my sister was talking about holding their heads and praying for them. I do this and it works when coupled with faith. Also, we should not leave them alone to the duties of leading the family in prayers. We should pray with them and stand with them. Let the children see you both have a voice in the place of prayer.
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Support Him In Your Family
Our parents, siblings and relatives should never have the mind to discuss our husbands in our presence. My dad knows this since the time of our wedding. He said my husband did not buy complete Cow for the wedding. I told him that’s what he could afford to bring. He stylishly mocked me saying ‘Ah Ruth’ (literally insinuating a wife that loves even to the point of death) but I didn’t mind him. Till now, if he has anything to say about my husband doing anything, he’ll say ‘I know we can’t report your husband to you, you will always take his side.’
We should know how to place great values on our husbands and support them when our family members want to talk them down. If they are insulted, we are as well insulted.
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Support Him Financially
Please, we should not allow them spend on the family alone. This economy can drive someone crazy. Even apart from talking about the economy, our little quota will always go a long way in showing financial support to them. Buy things in the house and make them look like they did. I sure believe God’s blessing is always on givers.
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Support Him Emotionally
Let’s be there for them at their highest and lowest points. Let’s assure them that with God and with our emotional support, they can be both exciting dudes and yet crying sulking babies as the situation calls for. Pet them, they are our babies.
I will quickly share a story. My husband holds an Elder title in the church before we got married but immediately we got married, he was to be ordained. So, the particular day meant for his ordination, he wore his fine clothe, he helped me to iron my clothe and clean my shoes, he was really excited about the ordination only for me to say the church is too far and as such I would not be able to jump on bike to get there. That’s illogical right? I know too. Eventually, ‘Elder’ was called without his wife and it really broke him. He was sad for like a week. I didn’t even know how to apologize because I was well aware of the situation. I failed there as a supportive wife. I had to ask for God’s forgiveness and his too.
Sisters, please, in any ways we’ve been defiant and not supportive, let’s turn a new leaf.
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Support Him Sexually
They must not go out to other ladies. We must help them sexually. Be very expressive and supportive to their new innovations and inventions in the ‘other room’. Be sexually inviting.
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Support Him Socially
This social support is very important. They must be cultured when they are outside. When they are not, we will share in the shame. Help them dress well for outings and social gatherings, even work. Wash their clothes, ensure their shoes are well polished, and get them body spray. Men can have smelly armpits at times, so let’s make extra effort to help them meet the standard of those cute guys we see and appreciate outside. Be kind and friendly with people that are their friends.
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Support Him Domestically
We must keep the house clean and tidy. Cook good meals and take care of the children. If some of the chores we do will affect our sanity, please as much as we can, let’s hire a Help to assist us.
Dear sisters, the reward of being totally supportive is that our healthy, loving and godly husbands come home to us every day with pure affection and attention for us.
Thank you for having me.
Questions and Answers
Question 1: How can we be supportive with sex?
Answer
Don’t be limited only to one sex position. Men always want to try new styles but we always complain and most times we don’t even cooperate with them.
Please, let’s learn to be open to changes in our bedroom and create romantic atmosphere for heavenly satisfaction (sex) so that these highly exposed girls won’t take our places.
Question 2: Sometimes, when my husband comes home tired, he doesn’t appreciate my effort. How can I handle this situation?
Answer
When our husbands don’t see the good in the things we do, we won’t stop doing them, instead we’ll pray first that God will help them to see and appreciate us. Sometimes, you can just start a conversation around it and ask questions like, ‘Honey, do you like the room I arranged?’ ‘Do you love the meal?’ ‘Did I position the flower vase well?’ etc. Trust me, he will say something eventually.
Then, we should desist from nagging. It spoils the good job we’re doing in our respective homes. Men detest nagging.
Discussion Corner
Contribution 1
Truly, when some men are tired, they are, and they need rest. Our wiring as women is different from theirs. Women will be tired and you see us still attending well to other things.
I think you should just be receptive of him. Help him relax. If it’s a regular act, discuss with him when he is in good mood. He should appreciate your efforts.
Contribution 2
As you have said, ‘comes home tired’. Let it go for that moment, then later when you notice he is in a better mood, you can raise the issues up; show/explain your efforts to him. I’m sure he will appreciate it. And sometimes, we think these men don’t notice or appreciate our efforts because they don’t say it or praise us. You will be shocked when they start saying it to their friends & family.
Topic: The Supportive Helpmeet
Lecturer: Tosin Awoniyi
Date: Wednesday 15th September, 2021.