As a way of refreshing our memories, last week, we considered The Purposeful Helpmeet to mean being intentional about our lives as women. Today, we are moving from there to The Sociable Helpmeet.
You will agree with me that living life alone can be very boring, hence the need for socializing. We can be of great help to our spouses by leading the front line in social affairs.
How many of us are in good terms with our neighbors? Even the Bible instructs us to “Follow peace with all men…”. Therefore, it is a good thing to be in good terms with our neighbors and friends. An adage says, “People around us are the clothes we wear”. You can’t be all by yourself because no man is an island. Interacting with humans broaden your scope, make you wiser, happy and to a large extent fulfilled.
Just as we have been taught about temperament in our anniversary lecture, you need to understand the man you are married to in order to be a sociable helpmeet to him.
The following points will guide us more to be sociable helpmeets:
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Help His Personality
Introvert husbands doesn’t really see the need to interact with all and sundry, they like their privacy and quiet time. Even those they are close to; they rather do the listening than engaging in conversations. In this case, you can help your partner mingle a bit, by convincing him to occasionally take a walk with you. While at it, gist about someone he cares about, ask of his opinion about inviting the person too for a walk. You will be shocked how little gestures like this change a human.
For the extrovert husband, they are the lively and happening set of people. A lot of women frown when their husbands are always talking, because sometimes they can exaggerate things. You will agree with me that, too much of everything in life is bad. We need to be moderate in all things. For such a husband, please do not nag about his movements. Rather, create an avenue to join in some of those outings.
For example, if he has an occasion that demands a husband-and-wife appearance, such as wedding, birthday etc., don’t allow him go alone.
A lot of people rarely honor invite. There is nothing you invite them to, that they will attend. Most times, it is not arrogance or pride, Its just their personalities. But the implication is, when they will need people to support them, stand by them or celebrate with them, they might have little or no one around them. If you keep turning down every invite, please who will come for yours?
However, it is not every invitation you should honor. Being a sociable helpmeet to your spouse will enable you sieve out occasions that demands your presence and otherwise.
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Help His Dress Sense
Believe it or leave it, the way you appear says much about you. The same way first impression leaves an undying view about someone, so also appearance. How do you appear to a function? A lot of people think it is irrelevant to look good. They keep saying, ‘It doesn’t really matter’, ‘Who will see me?’ etc. These words and attitudes have made some people miss their place of dignity in life.
How does your husband appear when he goes out? As a sociable helpmeet, you need to help him double check before he leaves home. If he is embarrassed outside, it is double embarrassment for you, his wife. Encourage him to invest in good clothes.
You will be very proud of him when he appears honorably.
Opportunities will come for him when he appears honorably.
He will be respected when he appears honorably.
He will have a voice or say when he appears honorably.
Nobody will look down on him when he appears honorably.
All these he can achieve if you help him as his sociable helpmeet. Please, be more intentional about how your husband appears.
My husband is a fashion addict. The ‘guy’ dresses to kill. He can’t dress up to go out and you will not double check him. In fact, there was a time my mum had to call me to the closet and told me to double my dress sense. That he has ‘beaten me hands down’ when it comes to fashion.
Let me tell you a story to buttress my point about my husband’s dressing. Once upon a time, he lost his job. We had to go back to square one. He started submitting CVs to companies. A multinational company invited him for an interview. He had told me all it takes to get the lead role (Managerial position). When the day of the interview came and he brought out his apparel, I was literally weak. He looked like the MD already. I asked him why he was looking all smashing like that? He said this is what he deserves, so, he must appear to suit his desire. When he got there, they examined his CV and places he had worked. Guess what! He was given a Regional Manager role instantly. They said he looked like what they want. His appearance made way for him.
Please, support your husband at all times to look his best because you never can tell when and where the miraculous blessing is coming from. Just like when the trumpet will sound, we never can tell.
In conclusion, how many times do you go on site seeing with hubby?
Have you thought of vacations?
Adventures?
Fun days?
Family outing with kids?
These are part of your duties as a sociable helpmeet to initiate.
Thank you.
Discussion Corner
Contribution 1
My hubby used to ignore his dressing habit then. I kept talking and correcting. But now, he’s changed. He will even come and meet me to select clothes for him to wear.
Contribution 2
We have had family outings countless times but the only one we’ve not had is vacation which I’m thinking to tell him for December plan. But now he said he wants to visit Nigeria.
Experience 1
On my son’s christening, my sister in-law was talking angrily that it is because my hubby doesn’t allow me go for functions, that’s why there aren’t people on ground to join in the cooking. I gave her the piece of my mind. The truth is, not everyone likes going to parties like her, even if my sister in-law doesn’t know the party host directly, she will still attend. People later came around and the food was ready before the christening program started, she later warmed up to me at the end and the matter ended.
Is it about having people come for your parties or having quality people around you? For parties, I’m in between, I don’t just go for parties if I’m not duly invited. Same with my husband, I’m even better than him in attending functions.
During my wedding, people turned up despite Covid-19 restrictions and moving out of our base for the wedding. Some were even still begging that they were sorry they could not make it.
So, it’s not about you attending their own or not, because at the end of the day, it’s not the same set of audience that grace all the functions.
Contribution 3
Having little people or no one gracing your invite doesn’t just happen at once, it is gradual. If you do not honor invites consistently, trust humans with gist and gossips. Trust how news fly. It will get to a point that everyone will know you do not honor invites. Gradually too, as you celebrate, you begin to see scanty attendance. How do you feel when people honor you and you see no big deal in honoring others?
Topic: The Sociable Helpmeet
Lecturer: Ebiere Adebowale
Date: Wednesday 29th September, 2021.