As a form of introduction, it’s been agreed from the anniversary lecture that Christian wives are Helpmeets.
Subsequently, there are different sides to being the full package of a Helpmeet, but today we will be considering The Physically Attractive Helpmeet.
There are qualities that we should exhibit as Helpmeets that will help our marriages, and if for any reason we fail to display these qualities, then it means we’re not functioning maximally in our offices as Helpmeets.
Most times, as women, we let familiarity get into our heads so much that we get used to our husbands and think we don’t need to make ourselves attractive to them anymore. Maybe because they are Christians after all, or we feel they don’t really care about how we look.
Do we think it’s no longer necessary to be attractive because we now have kids?
Or our breasts must dangle around the house because we are already used to our husbands?
Or we feel we can look unkempt because we are at home?
The only time we think about looking good is when we are either going out or expecting visitors. It no longer matter to us if our husbands are attracted to us or not. Apparently, most of us are guilty of this act. Does this mean we always have to kit up or be on make-up in the house? Of course No, that will be unrealistic but we sure can look good, sexy and attractive without kitting up.
Before I continue, let me ask this question. What do you wear around the house? If you tie wrapper around the house, Please STOP IT. It is really unattractive.
So, what do we do to keep looking attractive to our husbands?
The points below will surely give answers to the above question.
- INVEST IN SENSIBLE HOME WEARS: The way we buy lovely wears for office and outings is the same way we should spend on home wears because they are not less important. We mustn’t look good outside and wear rags in the house. Our husbands may not complain but they definitely like to see us look sweet. Home wears like shorts, tops, and free gowns are necessary to have as wives.
- LOOK GOOD AND SMELL NICE: We can look good and smell nicely without using expensive perfumes. The way armpit smells after sweat especially when it is hot is always awful. And it won’t be a bad idea to make our armpits and bodies smell nice with perfume, body spray, roll on, etc that are pocket friendly.
- SLEEP WITH SEXY WEARS: Wearing night gowns to bed isn’t outdated. Even if we don’t do it as routine, we must make sure not to abandon it. We can get sexy night wears and put them on to let our husbands know and be reminded that we are on point. Little things like this spice up our marriages.
- USE OF SOME COSMETICS: If our religions or husbands aren’t against cosmetics, we can use them. For example waist beads, contact lens etc. Making ourselves attractive doesn’t only make us look good to ourselves but it also makes our husbands delight in us and always want to be with us.
Some women will say “men that will cheat will cheat”. But we won’t neglect things we can do on our sides to sustain our marriages because of a saying that supports cheating. If we have husbands who appear not to be moved by whatever; whether we keep low cut or make hair or they seem to be indifferent when we make up or not, we may get carried away but I tell you men always have what they prefer. For instance, I discovered my husband loves me to be making my hair. He only says he’s okay with whatever I do because he doesn’t want to bother me but he actually prefers I make my hair. What I’m trying to say is that, our husbands may make it look like they don’t care how we look and because they are Christian brothers, we think they shouldn’t care when we appear shabbily dressed at home. All men care how their wives look except when they are done with the woman. Many of these men love one weird thing or the other but we won’t know until they tell us or the Holy Spirit helps us see their hearts.
Conclusion: A Physically Attractive Helpmeet is the reflection of her husband’s desire, his whore and only chic. Therefore, it is important that we appear as such all the time.
May God help us to be attractive Helpmeets to our spouses. Amen.
Questions and Answers
Question 1: Is sleeping naked a good way of being attractive?
Answer
Sleeping naked is absolutely fine but we don’t want a routine marriage. Right? Wearing lovely night wears is part of the good ways to invite our husbands for sex. When we keep sleeping naked, it becomes normal to our husbands. So we must learn to spice things up by thrilling them with see-through night wears.
Question 2: In being physically attracted to our husbands, is it out of place to also do what makes us happy? For example; I love waist beads and my hubby doesn’t like it, can I disobey him and use the waist beads in order to please myself? Or I should compulsorily obey him so I can be a helpmeet?
Answer
Sisters, we are talking about looking attractive to our husbands. We’re not in marriage to do what we like or comfortable with. We have to consider what is okay for the other person because we like them to consider ours too.
In my opinion, using this waist bead as an example, if my husband makes his hatred for waist bead known, I won’t use it. I won’t die if I don’t use it but if he just says he doesn’t like it and that he is letting me do what I like, I can then go for it if I’m really crazy about it or I can let it slide if I want.
Discussion Corner
Opinion 1
The marriage relationship is centered on compromise and balance. No doubt we all have our preferences as to what we wear, eat and do generally. My humble submission: As couples, we don’t own ourselves alone. The man is to the wife and vice versa.
On the topic of being attractive to one’s spouse, it is what both husband and wife should consciously do to spice the marriage. There are ways we can make our spouses like the things we like. More importantly, what works for most couples is relative. For me, I think these things are meant to create romantic ambiences and of course we don’t have to rule out self happiness. However, let’s be mindful not to be selfish.
Sisters, let’s wear lingerie, use good perfumes, light candles, use petals (red) on the bed and twerk if we can. They create a magical atmosphere.
In all, let our goal be creating the home we want while not forgetting ourselves. Creating a balance is critical and fundamental while we also keep in mind our spouses’ emotions.
Opinion 2
My opinion is that; whatever our husbands want from us, let’s do it in as much as it’s not something that will make us sin against God. For instance, in the case of my husband and me, we both know the personality we both got married to. We’ve dated for years before he left me to SA (South Africa) and he still came back for me. It’s only a person who knows SA’s doings and their women that can understand what it means for a man in SA to still remember that he has a woman in Nigeria. So let’s just understand what they want and the changes they want in us.
Experience 1
I think we are all here to learn those sensitive things we need to pay attention to. For example, before I don’t wear trousers and don’t show my cleavage but my husband derives pleasure in these things. Until I started practicing them, in the process I learnt to love them and I became happier. I have more trousers now; I’m left with only one skirt.
I believe when we choose to do what our husbands like, we will become happy in the process.
Experience 2
My hubby that initially approved my haircut even by following me to the Barber’s shop just recently started saying he couldn’t wait for my hair to grow back. Now, every morning, he says “your hair is not growing o“. He’s seriously making me regret I cut the hair.
Topic: The Physically Attractive Helpmeet
Lecturer: Oluwakemi Adebumiti
Date Delivered: Wednesday, 11th August, 2021.