Hello everyone, I come in peace bearing this good news, How to Boost Your Sexual Desires and Performance.
Contrary to what you might be expecting, no magic is going to happen in this lecture to boost your sexual desire or performance at once because Willingness and Time are two important things to work on.
What I’m trying to say is, to boost your sexual performance, you have to be very willing and desire to be better in bed. You have to love the idea of being sexual and crave it.
This will count as the king of all my points. If you’re not willing, even if you use Aphrodisiac, nothing will change. It might change for a night and then you’re back to where you were. Talking about willingness, it’s not you just deciding to start liking it, it comes from a place of understanding Sex in Marriage. Maybe because I’m a deep thinker, but Sex to me is a mystery. It’s one thing that doesn’t exhaust in Marriage. It doesn’t finish. It refills. It’s like a secret between husband and wife. So, I feel once it’s removed, that connection will slack.
Also, part of what you should know is that Sex should be important to you. And if for any reason it’s not important to you but it’s important to your husband, then for that reason, it should begin to matter to you.
So, after willingness has been checked. I have four other points that will help boost your desire and performance. But remember I said Willingness is the king of them all. If you’re not willing, you can’t even follow through with these points. But if you really want that change or maybe your husband has been complaining whether stylishly or harshly and you really wish to change but you don’t know how, then these points will be helpful.
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Think Sex
Some excuses we always give are:
‘I have a lot going on in my head right now’,
‘Sex is the last thing on my mind’,
‘My mind is occupied’ etc.
Now, if you’re willing, I want you to know that it requires that you consciously invite Sex into your thoughts. Unfortunately, Sex will not just crawl into your busy schedules if you don’t intentionally invite it. If you really want to make a change, start by consciously bringing Sex into your already occupied mind.
It will appear like ‘No way!’ at first, force it in. Personally, these past weeks have been horrible for me and I’m still in the ‘ditch’ as I type but nothing has changed my sexual life. You think I don’t feel like ‘No way!’? I do but whether I engage in Sex or not will not change my situation, so why do I need to put a pause on this sweet thing?
Before I proceed, let me say this! I’m naturally not a Sex person but the way I talk about it makes it look like I’m always on fire. That’s a big lie. In fact, it’s the opposite way if you ask my husband. I sometimes intentionally talk about it to put it in my head.
So, what’s my point? Put Sex thoughts in your busy head. It’s not less important than every other thing in the head. And guess what, it doesn’t even consume much time as others.
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Understand Sex
Knowledge is something that we can’t live without as humans. The same way you want to read about Parenting to be a better mom or to read your Academic books to pass or even study your Bible to get closer to God is the same way you should read about Sex to learn more because I tell you, you don’t know much. You think you do but you don’t. Just type on YouTube ‘How to caress’, ‘How to fondle a man’s nipple’, ‘How to kiss’ etc. You’ll be shocked at what you will find.
Yes, men are different and your man can have his own likes different from the general but at least, you will be guided into something reasonable, so you won’t keep scrubbing while you think you are caressing.
And this brings me to ask. When last did you read anything about Sex? Or aside the one we were asked to watch last week, when last did you watch a video that is pertaining to Sex?
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Plan Sex
This is similar to the first point but this goes further into actually planning it.
Still on our foundation of Willingness. If you really are willing, you have to plan Sex. Your Vagina will not suddenly get wet. You have to invite wetness into your Vagina.
For instance, go to bed at night and plan to wake earlier than usual to have Sex before the start of the day. In the middle of your busy day, plan ahead to have a good ‘fuck’ at night. In your To-do list for the day, put Sex. When planning for the weekend, include Sex. Plan it!
And don’t beat yourself if eventually you are unable to follow through. Put it again the next day, there’s always a beginning. Try to see why you couldn’t do it, make adjustments and follow up.
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Discuss Sex
Now, I’ve realized that the reason many people underperform in bed is due to lack of communication. So, the sermon here is to discuss Sex with your husband. You don’t have to sit like you want to have a family meeting. In the midst of anything, you can just throw it in and ask what he thinks about your sexual performance? Ask him what he likes and where he wants you to improve.
And most importantly, tell him what you like. Many wives don’t enjoy Sex and this is because it looks like they are servicing the need of their men. But Sex is not meant to be so. In fact, be selfish sometimes and let it go like your man is born to service you. Make him serve you in bed. Trust me, your husband is more than happy to. Your man’s ego boosts when he sees what he’s doing to you.
Tell your man that you want to cum. And don’t be sorry if it’s taking longer than normal. Seriously, I can relate. It can be so awkward but again I say don’t be sorry. He’s your husband, with time, it will get better. The more you have Sex, the more you understand your body and the more you enjoy it, then the easier it will get you to climax.
So, talk to your man exactly how you feel. Tell him you feel pain, that he needs to be patient. Tell him you need jelly. Tell him you like a second round. Also, tell him you like the way he sucks your nipple. Just communicate!
Like I said in the beginning, Willingness is one and Time is another factor that is very important in boosting your sexual performance. If you’re trying to do all these and it seems like nothing is changing, don’t stop please. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Keep doing it.
Before I round up, I will like to say, Marriages are different. Some have husbands that are okay with once in two weeks or in one month. Some are cool with having intercourse once in a week while some like my husband want Sex every day. So, know your man, know the kind of marriage you run and don’t compare. Some women can say, ‘Once I tell my husband ‘No’, he respects my decision’. That’s them. If I tell my own husband ‘No’, he will be on my neck like his destiny is in my hands. It will be foolish of me if I start feeling my husband too should respect my decision when I say ‘No’. In fact, my husband respect and cherish me and that’s why he wants to show me that through love making.
In conclusion, if I tell you this food or drug or exercise will boost your Sex life, I lie and the truth is not in me. The way to boost your Sex life is totally in your hand. Be willing, start with those points. One at a time, give it time, don’t give up and you will see how you will turn into a complete sexual being.
Questions And Answers
Question 1: Is Marriage all about Sex? What happens if we place so much importance on it and one of us get so sick and we couldn’t make time for Sex or what happens if we travel and we are not together?
Answer
Then we adjust to the situation. We are humans, we are created in such a way that it’s easy for us to adapt. So, when something happens and Sex is paused, we will adjust.
But we will explore and enjoy it while we can. We won’t envisage a situation that is yet to happen and let that debar us from enjoying the moment.
Meanwhile, Marriage is not all about Sex. Marriage is not all about a single entity. Parts come together to make up what we call Marriage. And Sex is a strong part of it.
Opinion 1
I like the answer to this question because recently, whenever the talk of Sex is mentioned here and some of us say we don’t see it in a particular way, it’s like we’re starving our men or we’re not happily married. No two marriages are the same. Sex can be a priority to one and not a priority to the other. And that doesn’t mean the other doesn’t enjoy having Sex when they do too.
Opinion 2
Regular Sex is therapeutic. This life is even too busy not to have regular Sex.
Opinion 3
Marriage is not all about Sex but Sex is an essential part of Marriage.
It is when we are together that our body will be sexually attracted. When one of us is not available, we put our bodies under control.
Opinion 4
Sex is not less important! We place emphasis on Parenting, Spiritual matters and other ‘important’ areas. Sex too should not be less talked about.
Topic: How to Boost Your Sexual Desire and Performance
Lecturer: Kemi Adebumiti
Date: Wednesday 8th December,2021.