Thanks for coming this far with us in this series. An interesting part of the Sex series is coming your way today. Relax and ‘be taken care of’ with this amazing topic: Foreplay and its Importance!
Sex is sweet but Foreplay makes it sweeter and a lot of couples are missing out on a lot of benefits that comes with Foreplay. Like we say, the proof of the pudding is in the eating, you’ll never know until you try. In this topic, we are going to explore the benefits of Foreplay but before then, we will look at what Foreplay is.
WHAT IS FOREPLAY?
People have different views about Foreplay. Some see it as the activities that precedes immediate sexual intercourse. The activities amongst others include kissing, caressing, massaging, etc (I fall into this category).
Others see it as an act that arouses sexual desires and helps partners attain orgasm. It may or may not lead to intercourse(penetration) so in this case we can say an ‘outercourse’ occurred.
According to experts, Foreplay goes beyond having fun or any of such activities immediately before Sex (Intercourse).
Foreplay could be any of such activities that arouses your sexual desires, builds anticipation and sets you in the mood for the main course. In a nutshell, It’s an act of building intimacy. It’s one of the many ways to spark romance in your marriage. Adding foreplay to our sex life is a sure-fire way to reignite the spark. Foreplay can begin anywhere, anytime even when you are distance apart. Foreplay to me is like an appetizer while Sex is the main dish.
Someone might be wondering how it is possible to attain orgasm without the Penis in the Vagina. We will understand better as we proceed.
TYPES OF FOREPLAY
It’s important to note that not all Foreplay (Outercourse) would lead to Sex (Intercourse). Our aim is to get aroused, satisfaction and orgasm. It differs in individuals so it’s important you know what your husband likes. It’s different strokes for different folks. It may be one type that works for you or a combination of two or more hence it’s not a one size fits all. Just ensure you engage the right buttons.
Foreplay doesn’t involve touch alone depending on time and place.
- Love Language: The brain is our biggest sexual organ and to get aroused in the body, you have to start in the mind. When we know and act our husbands’ love languages, it makes them feel loved and that act sends a signal to the brain which will make your partner want to reciprocate either by touch, kiss or hug. In the process, the mind is connected and the body is aroused. What is your partner’s love language? Do you know his soft spot or those things that turn him on? it could be an act of service like a bank alert (for those of us that have soft spot for money), you could also take time to tell the other person what you appreciate about them. Show your gratitude, which can take the form of gifts, favors, or a simple ‘Thank You’.
- Sexting: It’s basically talking and typing about Sex. It’s a form of Foreplay that doesn’t involve touch but helps in building anticipation. Most of us, the last text we sent to our husband was ‘How is your day going?’, ‘Can you grab milk on your way home?’, ‘I’ll pick up the kids today’. It may be time to get your mind out of your to-do list and into the gutter. It doesn’t have to start with sending nudes instead consider using text and voice notes to arouse your lover’s interest. Send a few recorded words to let him know that you’re thinking of him. Tell him what you’ve been thinking about. Tell him what you want. Be clear that he is the object of your desire.
‘Just because you see your partner every day doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be sexting. It’s a great way to get your partner jazzed up for when he or she gets home, and set the mood for a great night’. (Quote from Gigi Engle, a writer; educator and speaker).
If you travel often for work, feel like the chemistry in your marriage has dulled, or feel disconnected as a couple, sexting could help you stay connected throughout the day and increases lust for one another. You can try the Between or Private Photo Vault App, it makes sexting more private, secure and easy.
- Cuddling and Kissing: Make time for Cuddling and Kissing. They may seem trivial but they are a great way to build intimacy and initiate Foreplay. There are different types of Kissing for different occasions. Romantic Kissing leads to sexual arousal and is often the driving force behind a woman’s decision to have Sex with someone and a lot of people achieve Orgasm through deep Kissing and exploring erogenous zones such as the neck, thighs, breasts, wrist, back, belly and genitals. It reduces stress levels, causes a chemical reaction in your brain including a burst of the hormone ‘Oxytocin’ often referred to as the ‘love hormone’. It stirs up feelings of affection and attachment. Happy hormones like ‘Dopamine’ are also released making you feel giddy and euphoric. Saliva also contains Testosterone — a Sex hormone that plays a role in sexual arousal. The longer and more passionately you kiss, the more testosterone gets released. So many reasons why you need to kiss, kiss, kiss and kiss and very important, practice oral hygiene while at it as poor oral hygiene is a turn off.
- Massage: Giving your husband a massage is a great way to get him in the mood and help him relax. It could be either foot, back or neck massage. The choice is yours but let your focus be on the part that arouses him.
- Nipple Play: The Nipple is one of the most sensitive part of the body during Foreplay and a lot of people have achieved Orgasm through its stimulation. You can touch, pinch, bite gently, suck gently, caressing with the tongue. Nipples are major erogenous zones with lots of nerve endings to provide intense sensations. Many people report that this type of climax feels similar to a Pelvic-related orgasm.
- Flirting: Flirtatious gestures and glances you pass at your husband is a subtle way of telling him you are ready to explore. Stroking his legs at the dining while having a romantic dinner or adjusting his tie and talking dirty while he’s getting ready for work builds up anticipation for a pleasurable Sex experience. Talking about sexual activities you want to explore is also part of flirting. Foreplay becomes easier to engage when you are open about your sexual fantasies and desires with your husband.
- Manual Stimulation: Partners could achieve Orgasm through genital stimulation. This involves gently stroking your husband’s Penis with your hands.
IMPORTANCE OF FOREPLAY
Though many people would rather want to get down to business and start the main course because they see Foreplay as annoying and time wasting. And some do so because they lack the skills or know how. Not after this post because Foreplay plays vital role in our love lives as we would explore in the following points.
Change they say is constant. There comes a time in life when the urge for Sex seems to decline due to age, work, childcare, reduced sleep and other external factors. To build up that tension for a pleasurable sex, Foreplay is the real deal. It reduces stress levels and builds intimacy between couples.
Also, pregnant women who for one reason or the other cannot have sexual intercourse would find sexual fulfilment and reach orgasm through Foreplay if that right button is engaged.
Foreplay sets the mood for mind blowing pleasurable sex, lubricates the Vagina, blood flows through the genitals, the Clitoris/ Penis gets erect and ready for erotic explosion. There won’t be sex without an erect Penis.
I have come also to realize that women need Foreplay than men because when the Vagina is well lubricated, this helps the Clitoris to get erect and ready for sex. It helps to achieve Orgasm. Unlike the men that just thinking about Sex or seeing a woman naked arouses them and gets the Penis erect, a woman needs to be well lubricated before penetration. The truth is if your man can stimulate your genitals, what you feel is something extraordinary. While some may achieve orgasm without penetration, others might need to add penetration to Foreplay to achieve this.
Foreplay triggers hormones that create bond between partners for emotional intimacy.
HOW TO GET STARTED
- Communication is key for a good Foreplay.
- Start on a positive note and get rid of every form of anxiety, shame and fear.
- Be open and honest about what works for your body and also get to know about his.
- Discuss with your partner the importance of Foreplay by letting him in on the secrets.
- Be intentional.
- Don’t lay blames or try to force things. He might not get it right at first or may not be interested or he is the shy type, encourage him and be patient with him.
- Patiently guide him to the right spot that gives you pleasure.
In conclusion, Foreplay is not optional. It’s not something you can rush for two minutes before getting straight into the main course (Sex). Instead, it’s something you should take your time with to get both you and your husband in the mood.
Questions and Answers
Question 1: I get bored sometimes in this Foreplay thing most especially when I have a stressful day. How can I manage this?
Answer:
This is when you need it most, I mean when you are tired. A good massage will go a long way to ease you of the stress or manual stimulation if properly done. It’s not necessary it ends in Intercourse. You can also try invite him for a shower with you.
Question 2: Can Foreplay be achieved with one partner or the two have to be involved? I mean can one partner initiate Foreplay?
Answer:
Foreplay involves two people but one person has to initiate it. It’s partnership in the sense that you are communicating with your partner through every body signal you display. He has to be carried along and be in the know about what you want.
Topic: Foreplay and Its Importance
Lecturer: Christiana Simeon
Date Delivered: 17th November, 2021.